“Choke Enough” is the proof that groundbreaking and sophisticated music is like a strawberry, it needs time to grow, you have to nurture it until it’s ripe, pick it with care and then, if you can, turn into the sweetest jam. I love when artists make good music. And I’m not talking about well-produced songs, I’m talking about when they get involved in the writing, arrangement and composition of thought-out, interesting, forward-looking music. That is a very polite way of saying that I am fully aware that most singers don’t know anything about how to make and produce their own material. When they say “I wrote a song” it means they wrote a couple of lyrics and their engineer did everything for them while they sat on the ever-present leather sofa behind the desk, mindlessly scrolling on their phone while someone else did their job for them. I know this premise has a bit more bite than your average review, but I have a point. I want to talk about Oklou’s album “Choke Enough”, because you can tell immediately that it was made by a musician. Oklou, pronounced “Ok Lou”, is the stage name of French musician Marylou Mayniel, a deliciously mysterious artist who has been quietly paving her own way for the past decade or so. In a soundscape full of bold and out-there personalities, Oklou has taken the road less travelled. Her 2020 mixtape, the nightly “Galore”, gently made its way into my most replayed albums of the last few years, and did so not by being out-there, but by shining a light on a more elegant and introspective way of writing songs. It was calm and elegant. “Choke Enough”, her debut album, is masterful. There are cool arrangements, medieval melodies, unexpected instrumentation, pure pop strokes and left-field ideas, all interconnected in 13 songs that seamlessly weave a spider web of sticky, inviting and inescapable sound. Doing a track by track review in this case seems a little reductive (“look it up”). The songs manage to feel both different and related, there is an invisible fil rouge (excuse the French but in this case it seems appropriate) that keeps the whole project glued together. “Choke Enough” is infused with the same blue hue that appears in the artwork of the album, and it all feels like a late afternoon in the same atmosphere. As a southern European, when I see a window shutter halfway shut like that it brings back memories… The song “ict” perfectly depicts what I’m trying to describe: a summer’s afternoon in the city, careless, a bit boring, nostalgic of an easier time and, at the same time, euphoric. A fragile happy moment, frozen in time. The muted and soft sounds of the album vividly capture a sweet spot, between memory and dream, that is very hard to find in today’s landscape, especially considering how unaware artists are of their own art. While some singers rush to frantically release new and often flavourless music, Oklou takes her time, studies, and composes music that celebrates a much overlooked human need: quiet. I cannot tell you how serene this album makes me feel, especially “Blade Bird”, the closing track. I feel just like I’m back to when I was a kid, picking cherries in my grandpa’s orchard in late May.

Lady Gaga is back with a new single that made us all remember why we fell in love with her in the first place. Who could imagine that it would only take a simple “Abracadabra” to bring the magic back. I stopped watching the Grammys a few years ago, when the veneer of magic and merit that surrounded them in my imagination slowly faded to reveal an industry just as money driven and corrupt as its members. I don’t particularly care anymore about who wins what and why, as it’s clear to the entire world that that ceremony is not actually about who makes the most interesting and “best” music. So this year was no exception, and I didn’t watch it. But I had heard a rumor that Lady Gaga was going to be using a commercial break to debut a new song. As a good ol’ little monster at heart, as soon as I woke up I grabbed my phone and went to social media, where the first thing that popped up was her music video for her new song “Abracadabra”. Now, I was a teenager when Gaga started on the scene and I always get really excited when she releases new music (for me it’s more a nostalgic and emotional experience then anything, you know, Born This Way and all), so I usually defend her no matter if I actually like her songs or not. I know, I am biased. After “Disease”, which wasn’t really my cup of tea, I was expecting something similar to the song and video, so I was delightfully shocked when I clicked on the link and found out that I was wrong. A time warp must have been opened right there and then, because I was suddenly thrown back to 2010, geeking out over the “Alejandro” music video. This is old school Gaga. As someone in her comments section said: “old testament Gaga”! Abracadabra is good. So good. Probably one of the best songs that miss G put out in the last 10 years. It’s catchy, the kick is heavy like in “Bad Romance”, she’s back to singing “ooh na na”, she belts her own name and the energy is insane. The video is tightly choreographed like we haven’t seen in a while and the pace is relentless. The production, the costumes, the shots, it’s all so addictive. Truly a return to her roots. The song theme reminded me of “Choreomania” by Florence and the Machine, dance ‘til you drop and die, but with a magical twist and a bit more darkness. Gaga refers to a “lady in red”, which in the video is represented by this new Mayhem character that she previously debuted in “Disease”: the incarnation of her own demons, inescapable and quite scary, yet somewhat comforting. I guess that she will preside over the entirety of the album, which I am getting quite excited about now, if it’s half as good as “Abracadabra”. For once, I am not the only one who thinks that this song is good. Publications and people online seem to all agree, although Pitchfork said it’s good but maybe a bit too good (I suspect it’s because they have to always say something with a semblance of intelligence), but I’ll take it! The verdict stands, Gaga is back.  Mayhem is out March 7th. Paws up!

I finally went to see Wicked . That inescapable and endless marketing campaign was more than enough to get me into a cinema -  bucket of popcorn in hand.I’m a big fan of Cynthia Erivo’s work - she’s arguably one of the greatest singers of our generation. And while I’ve never been the biggest Ariana Grande fan, she’s also undeniably an A-listed vocalist, and her enthusiasm for this role was so infectious that I had to see it for myself. But boy, was I misled. Let me start by saying that I’ve always found the American fascination with The Wizard of Oz movie -and its impact on American gay culture- somewhat perplexing. It has never changed my opinion that the film is overrated. Fortunately, where I grew up, it wasn’t considered indispensable or unmissable. That said, it is a piece of cinema history, so I’ll concede that in popular culture, some people really do worship every aspect of it.Also, I have never actually understood revisionism in literature and film.The ‘Wicked’ novel, published in 1995 by Gregory Maguire, has always been a little bit of a mystery to me. The idea of exploring the origin story of wickedness, and to imagine where the Wicked Witch of the West came from, is certainly commendable as an attempt to study of evil in literature. However, I can’t help but feel it’s a bit like cheating to write about someone else’s creation as if it were your own. Especially considering that L. Frank Baum left us over ten novels about Oz. Why anyone would feel the need to circle this immensely successful and lucrative treasure trove in search for inspiration and imitation, I will never understand (wink wink). I understand that this might not be the most generous premise to start with, but it made me reflect on the fact that the ‘Wicked’ musical is essentially an adaptation of Gregory Maguire’s revisionist, borderline “fan-fictional” work. How cringey would it be if, in 70 years, somebody wrote a revisionist Twilight-inspired novel and it ended up being adapted for the stage? Wouldn’t that feel like a self-referential easy money grab? After all, the characters, worlds, concepts etc. are already there. It would be unoriginal. A sin worth forgiving only if the product is truly masterful. The ‘Wicked’ musical and its accompanying book, however, are far less compelling than the “original” novel. They effectively “disneyfy” the entire exploration of evil and the gravity of its themes by injecting saccharine melodies and ‘80s inspired songs.This approach seems tailored primarily to theatre kids who love nothing more than hearing the sound of their own voices. Kinda like a gigantic masturbation session.If I recall correctly, the musical received mixed reviews when it premiered 20 years ago.Its longevity likely has less to do with the actual plot, characters and story and more to do with the high-belting crowd-pleasers that Elphaba shouts at the top of her lungs, alongside the audience’s fascination with the leading actresses. Who genuinely thinks this story carries any weight or depth here? At least Gregory Maguire’s 1995 novel did that right. The musical is shallow, to say the least. Its reflection on wickedness and the nature of evil -the whole point of this revised story- has been condensed by ridiculous and insufferable theatre singers into the final three or four notes of “Defying Gravity”. These embellishments are less about musicality and more about showing off vocal range, to the point where people forget the purpose of a melody: to serve the song. Most of these 5th-octave stretches are as musical as a donkey fart. As Patti LuPone famously said, melodies should be left untouched - so at least someone agrees with my repulsion. At least Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenoweth, the originators of the roles of Elphaba and Glinda, are good at self-restraint. And they were rightfully iconic in their roles - especially Kristen Chenoweth, who I always thought to be a criminally underrated singer. So. Here I go to see the movie. As soon as 5 minutes in, though, I go from being gently levitated into an interesting world by the first few shots, to brutally crashing down on earth as soon as, after the first few lines, it finally clicks that this movie is going to be full of Marvel-level humour and derivative characters. Don’t misunderstand me, I think Ariana Grande as Glinda is great to watch, her scripted “comedic” moments probably read as such only to the youngest and, excuse my bluntness, most American audiences. It’s not hard to miss though, that most of the actually funny and lighthearted moments came from Ariana completely being herself and (probably) improvising off script. All the nuances and little things she adds onto the character read much more genuine than her actual lines. Cynthia Erivo plays Elphaba really well, though this character is written for the screen in such a cliched and predictable way that it’s even pointless to actually go back to the Wicked novel to check if Maguire wanted to portray the Wicked Witch as actually morally good or bad. But this script is written as a fanfic too, judging from the lack of overall depth and sycophantic reverence with which all the people involved in making this movie seem to be so high on. The set-up, the university, Glinda’s friends, Fiyeroh and Madame Morrible are all so irrelevant and add so little to the emotional charge of the whole thing, that I am not surprised or taken by any of their individual moments on screen. As Bowen Yang is cast in this, the reader will forgive my cheekiness in saying that this whole movie feels like it was written by the current staff of SNL. This whole thing is so preoccupied with being immersed in itself that it completely fails to present the viewer with any sort of moral conundrum, any differing perspective and, ironically, any thought on wickedness. I would’ve much preferred if instead of planting 9 million tulips just for a few shots, these people had spent some time actually writing some good lines into this. I get it though, this movie is supposed to be an easy watch. Even easier than the musical. Let’s talk about the score. Stephen Schwarts, the original composer, was of course involved in the soundtrack, which is very much appreciated. The songs do sound like the musical, which I guess is what fans wanted, though they do sound a bit dated. I get that it’s supposed to be ‘80s inspired, but it’s starting to read as uninspired. Plus, 2 hours and 40 minutes of part I just for a handful of the songs feels like a huge stretch that will only please the fans who want to be able to rewatch every second of this, in search of easter eggs and tiny details. The singing is done live, which adds to the overall acting, as you can actually see the muscles on the actors necks moving realistically. Though, apart from Ariana and Cynthia, who are without a doubt worthy of praise for their vocal performances, the rest of the cast delivers poor singing. Jeff Goldblum’s vocal performance is giving ‘Les Mis’ movie flashbacks. Boq is good, but sings for about 30 seconds. Jonathan Bailey adds very little charm here, and while I get that his song is supposed to make audiences fall at his feet, as a gay person, I was not swayed, and cringed every time he looked at Glinda. ‘Popular’ was good, although it’s just another make-over scene full of simple jokes. Let’s be honest, ‘Defying Gravity’ is what we were all waiting for, and the singing doesn’t disappoint, although we have to live through the ever-present falling-from-the-tower-when-she-discovers-she-has-powers scene. I have lost count of how many times I’ve had to sit through that cliche. And then there we go, Cynthia finally lets out her version of the last belt of the song. Stunning. Probably the most stunning version of this song. Now, can we go home? My overall thoughts on this blockbuster are that the plot is inconsequential and long, things happen at their own disgruntled pace and, even though we spend at Shiz most of the film, we still don’t really understand what they do there, why the animal teachers get hunted down, what Elphaba and Madame Morrible are doing in their seminars except from saying things like “when you control your emotions, you will be so powerful”, etc. I am so lost, and not in a “it’s complicated” kind of way, in a “no, they can’t be this simplistic about this” manner. The director wants us to think that Elphaba is good, Glinda is good, animals are good, Fiyeroh is good, Nessarose is good but angry, so watch out for her in pt. II, Elphaba’s dad is not good, Madame Morrible is not good and Oz is not good. Ok. Right. So the whole reflection on moral doubt is dispelled before we even started. It’s like watching the parody of a Marvel movie. Sorry not sorry, very bad movie. And I do think that most of the praise it’s getting comes from the lore outside of the film, of what people know of Ariana and Cynthia, of what people know of the musical, how it was made… if anything, though, the singing was great.

When Twigs started talking about Eusexua, in the midst of her promo campaign for “The Crow”, I had a completely different idea of what it would sound like. She’s always been the kind of artist who lives and breathes her craft to the fullest extent, so when she said that her new record would be inspired by the rave scene in Prague, I expected a much more techno sounding piece of work. But I think that says more about me than her, because while watching her interview with Imogen Heap for Spotify, she revealed how multicultural and heterogeneous the process of making Eusexua with her producer, Koreless, actually was. Which incidentally made me think of the fact that I have never even been to Prague. So what do I know about the sound of its club scene… Having realised my massive preconception of what this album should have sounded like, I then dove right in. I had heard the title track when it first came out, but as with everything, it’s impossible to judge a puzzle by one piece, although as a first taste it was pretty immaculate. The subtle and delicious crescendo in the sound design part of the production really achieves the goal of transporting you right to the edge of a feeling of euphoria and absolute calm. The word “eusexua”, invented by Twigs, describes a very human and grounded feeling of being present and in your own skin and body.  As the last notes of the song bring you right to the edge of the experience, “Girl Feels Good” immediately grabs you by the memory strings with a Ray of Light-esque beat and sound. It sounds like Twigs and the producers of this track did their homework and were able to take “Swim” by Madonna, almost 30 years later, and be shamelessly inspired by it, without sounding like a rip-off. “Perfect Strangers” moves us into into a classy, dirty masterpiece of a pop number (with a nod to Kylie Minogue), which towards the end becomes even more club-ready with a four-on-the-floor drop that abruptly reminds us of why we’re here: to sweat and lose ourselves in a club in Eastern Europe. In the interview I mentioned earlier, Imogen questioned Twigs about her ephemeral sound and aesthetic, and Twigs told her she calls it the “pussy”, and that her songs always seem to embody that specific energy. Right. Forget this as we’re going into a track rightfully called “Drums of Death”, where I would say we can almost taste a metallic and in your face counterpart: the “dick”, as I called it. I can almost hear the gay kids screaming the last verse of this in the club: “serve c***/ serve violence”. This wake up call to all ordinary workers is followed by another much appreciated techno number, “Room of Fools”, which takes us on a bit of a musical journey and is clearly inspired by “Skin” by Madonna, especially towards the end. “Sticky” is the first breather of the album, taking us to more vulnerable territory with its personal lyrics about how difficult it is to be exposed and naked with a partner, when all you want is some nice words and to be loved and not judged. A brash breakcore outro then leads us to my favourite track. “Keep It, Hold It” is insane. This Kate Bush-inspired experimental track goes from 70’s prog to techno lament in the space of a beat, with no previous warning and no way to slow it down. It’s a gem of a song that really embodies the feeling of losing your body to the rhythm and just letting go. I love the juxtaposition between the title and how you actually end up feeling after the drop.  Now, let’s talk a little bit about “Childlike Things”. I actually love this track. Musically and lyrically, it really does sound like it was born out of an innocent inner playground. All good, North West’s part was ok with me, even the fact that it’s Japanese, because why not, but then I read the translation of what she actually says. She talks about Jesus being the only god and saviour. I honestly find it icky enough when adults talk about their religion and do proselytism, but when famous kids do it, I am repulsed and disgusted. It’s giving cult, it’s giving Ye’s influence, it’s giving extremism. I’m sorry, Twigs should have not put this in a song. These people have enough platforms to spread their beliefs. Really big black eye in an otherwise flawless project. Fortunately, “Striptease” is a flawless, raw, refined, superb song, and it almost makes me forget how much I just cringed. “Opening me/ feels like a striptease”, a really appreciated continuation of the theme previously found in “Sticky”. Someone tweeted 10 years ago that FKA Twigs’s music is just her whispering about having sex over throwaway Bjork beats. While I disagree, “24h Dog” really does this person’s tweet justice. A BDSM-esque theme sung delicately over a microbeat right out of Vespertine. Somehow, it’s very classy. A lot of “pussy” in this one. “Wanderlust” is a good album closer, lyrically and musically, with a stunning vocal performance that shutters the 4th wall and connects us with Twigs as a human and real person, with a job and things to do. Overall, apart from the disappointing feature of North West, I think this is a great album. A very early contender for AOTY, and another flawless addition to Twigs’ immaculate discography, Madonna pun intended.

BANKS has announced her new album “Off With Her Head”, which is set to release in February.As someone who has followed her music since her debut 10 years ago, I can confidently say that I am trembling with anticipation. Inspired by this announcement, I’ve decided to write a retrospective about her previous four major projects: “Goddess”, “The Altar”, “III” and “Serpentina”. Her debut album “Goddess”, was released exactly 10 years ago and it became a groundbreaking moment for alternative electronic R&B. The album proved both critically and commercially successful, inspiring and reshaping the genre. With the help of cutting-edge, left-field producers and her offbeat lyrical and melodic approach to songwriting, this collection of songs influenced a lot of artists and left a lasting impact - more than it often gets credit for. I can think of at least a few artists who debuted after BANKS and shamelessly attempted to recreate the haunting, pulsating magic she infused into her music. Even Rihanna was charmed, sampling “Waiting Game” for her track “Desperado” on the iconic album “Anti”.Beyond the obvious success of the single “Beggin For Thread” -recently certified platinum in the US- and the millions of views amassed by the music videos from this era, “Goddess” had something you couldn’t buy, not even replicate: depth. Even the remixed version of the album, released later, still managed to retain a level of profoundness that is extremely rare in this industry. BANKS’ sophomore album, “The Altar”, was released in 2016. This album is a masterpiece and, to my taste, Banks’ magnus opus. It took the darker, more unsettling elements from its predecessor and amped up their intensity. The first two singles alone - “Fuck With Myself” and “Gemini Feed”- were proof that BANKS wasn’t interested in bottling up the lucky formula of “Beggin For Thread”. Instead, she fearlessly carved out her own sinister path.As a listener, I am so thankful for this choice because it resulted in far superior music.From start to finish, “The Altar” radiates a clear vision paired with a more sophisticated, evolved sound. Much of this is thanks to her signature use of vocal transformers, heavily layered throughout the album - an approach that has since become almost ubiquitous in alternative electronic music. It was definitely ahead of its time.  “III”, BANKS’ third album, likely arrived with significant expectations to achieve greater commercial success than its predecessor. It’s pretty predictable that by this point, Capitol Records was hoping for something that could rival the breakout appeal of “Goddess”.While this album definitely had a more mainstream appeal, it still retained a left-field vibe and pivoted its thematic focus: sexuality and eros now took center stage in basically all of the songs. “III” remains BANKS most critically praised record. However, in my opinion, the highlights of the album are still the more haunting and eerie tracks, such as “Contaminated”, “Godless” and “Stroke”. BANKS’ fourth album, “Serpentina”, was released in 2022 and marked a significant shift as her first major project not tied to Capitol Records, but instead released through AWAL.This album has proven to be divisive. On one hand, it showcases some of BANKS’ most intriguing melodies; on the other, it feels somewhat bland compared to her earlier, more groundbreaking works. While I still enjoyed “Serpentina”, it seemed to lack the spark that infused her previous albums with such vitality. After discussing it with friends who also love her music, we all agreed that “Serpentina” feels like an album created for the fans.Which is not necessarily a bad thing, I do think that it could have benefited from greater musical exploration. “The Devil” is a banger though. And now, we arrive at the announcement of “Off With Her Head”, set to release on February 28th. Promising, as Billboard states, a “return to form”, the album brings back some of BANKS’ earlier collaborators, which is reason enough to be excited. I am particularly thrilled about the return of SOHN, an incredible musician and producer renowned for his synth-heavy soundscapes, intricate harmonies and masterful use of vocals as instruments. Judging by the first two singles - “I Hate Your Ex Girlfriend” featuring the incredible Doechii, and “Best Friends”- this album already feels like it’s going to be the perfect synthesis of all her best work. I can’t wait.

The internet is becoming a distorted version of itself. I unfortunately am just as addicted to my phone as the next person, my guilty pleasure being spending a lot of time on X to catch up with music news and news from the world, and I have increasingly come across a puzzling phenomenon. Users going to battle with themselves over their favorite pop stars. The deification of movie stars, pop icons, actors and singers serves in the contemporary era as a substitute for cults of gods and goddesses, since objects of worship are arguably needed regardless of them actually having religious connotations. Life is bleak and hard and having an icon that lives what we think is a perfect life, with perfect clothes and immaculate morals, is a form of escapism that I think we all, in some form, find relief in. So there is nothing wrong with the idea that being connected via social media to our favorite artists makes us feel like we’re touching gold. Fame is a contagious disease, and a lot of us feel compelled to touch a star because it makes us think that its shine could rub off on us.  Lady Gaga recently released her highly anticipated single from LG7, ‘Disease’, and, as expected, people on the internet are already lynching each other over it. And I’m not talking about people who like it vs. people who don’t. I’m talking about her own fanbase. One the most ridiculous after-effects of singers being on social media is that the parasocial hue makes people think they are so close to the music industry that they know  better, or could  know better, or, even more comically, could do  better. Anyone familiar with X will tell you that stans have become so arrogant that they must feel included in their icon’s thinking, lest they, excuse my French, lose their shit.  Fans/stans must be pampered to, their wants and needs must be included, they want to know the managers, publicists, make-up artists, their tweets must be taken into consideration etc. If not, there will be consequences. I have seen people insult Gaga, her team, her manager and her family just because they think this new single’s rollout is not going how they think it should, all in the name of charts and a place in today’s zeitgeist. Am I the only one seeing how counterintuitive that sounds? So Gaga should care about the charts because her fans want her to care about the charts for her own good? What is this? A case of misplaced identity where a person’s spirit now resides in the people who admire them and now serve as master puppeteers? Eerie. Yet we see this kind of fan behavior all the time: Taylor Swift putting unreleased versions of songs on her albums just because fans asked for them; Ariana Grande’s unfinished songs being stolen and then released on the radio and her feeling obliged to respond; Beyoncé’s fans demanding for visuals, taunting everyone they think is in her close circle about new music and new art; Britney Spears being talked about as if she is a child just because she is not complying to her fans’ demand for new music, purely because they were made to feel like they set her free. It’s insane. And it’s contagious. This fury on the internet would infect even the holiest of buddhist monks. Ten minutes on Tik Tok and I also feel inflamed. Artists have become art-printing machines. Forget money and forget the industry. Artist are to their own fans’ cash cows: they must be milked constantly and shall be punished when they take a bit of their creative freedom back. Which leads me to my conclusion. In the Italian language, ‘fama’ (fame) and ‘fame’ (hunger) are very similar words with different etymological roots, yet they seem poignantly interchangeable on social media. In the words of Britney: “you want a piece of me?”. I thought that was supposed to mean that people wanted a glimpse into her life, although I am now confused if it’s supposed to be figurative or literal, since I’m convinced that, if these megastars didn’t have security, their own fans would eat them alive trying to devour and taste a piece of their magic. When did cannibalism become chic again?

Techno beats, folk sensitivity and a sweaty room. The magic of Douglas Dare live in Amsterdam. He’s quite a singular artist: a very experienced and inspired musician with a talent for melody and a sophisticated approach to songwriting. Which is quite uncommon to get these days, as we’re slowly becoming more and more used to mediocre songs and artists who don’t even know how to boot up a DAW session. Douglas, on the other hand, is a true creative.  His latest album, “Omni”, released earlier this year, quickly rose up to my personal top 5 of 2024 because of its sensitivity to harmony, expertly interwoven with a study on electronic beats. From the first song I was whisked away to an avant-garde soundscape adorned with Douglas’s soft vocals, which tell stories of multitude and elegantly chronicle facets of human experience. So you can imagine how excited I was to go see his live tour in Amsterdam, where I currently reside. I have a very difficult approach to live gigs, as a musician myself I always find it a bit frustrating to be stuck on the “other” side of the stage, as it so often feels to me, and I am usually very resistant and skeptical (and judgy, to be completely honest). This time, however, I was more than happy to let go of my cynicism and be entertained. So I went in not really knowing what to expect (I somehow managed to escape the plethora of videos and tik toks that my algorithm kept trying to feed me), yet I was hopeful and trusting of where the music itself would take me.  It’s difficult to be entertained sometimes. I have observed many times that when you are on stage, especially in intimate venues, the most common kind of spectator opposes a lot of resistance to the idea of having fun, and just ends up staring at you blankly, trying to force a smile with their arms crossed. And I don’t think this crowd was particularly easy. As soon as Douglas went on stage and the title track started playing, the room was captivated. The beats, the atmosphere, the incredible vocals and the tasteful more stripped down moments took me on a rollercoaster of emotions that I hadn’t felt in a while. Douglas transformed the room into a dark club, and the contrast between the thumping, techno-esque beats of “Mouth to Mouth” and his latest re-release “One Eye Open” (absolute standout for me, made me dance like an absolute maniac), juxtaposed to a few cuts from his folk album “Milkteeth” was a joy to the ears and soul. The show was packed full of fun moments as well as deep and introverted gems.  When I came out, although sweaty and spent, I was, as the kids say these days, fed. Douglas had previously said on stage that he would be out to sell some records, so I waited for him and we exchanged a few words. There’s always a feeling of fellowship when it comes to artists that makes us feel like we’re on the same boat. And unfortunately, these days that boat is not really sailing like it used to for anyone. Costs of touring are skyrocketing, making it impossible for musicians to make any money even with fully booked tour dates. Brexit has not made it easy on anyone in the music industry and it’s always harder to get any money from royalties and streaming. But to the intrepid, like Douglas, who do decide to venture out, even at the cost of staying on a friend’s couch, as a fan of music, I say thank you. All humans do is try to get entertained. It’s about time that the world catches up.

I am entirely aware that numerous articles have already been written about Charli XCX’s new project, Brat. Many praise it, acclaiming it as an instant cult classic, while a small minority question its relevance in today’s culture, discussing the oversaturation of the acid green Pantone that has now become Charli’s signature color. My goal in this opinion piece, however, is not to build a critique, positive or negative - I simply aim to talk about a song and a feeling that I have a sneaking suspicion has been overlooked. I am 29, turning 30 next April, and I find myself struggling with a peculiar pull of opposing feelings: I want a family, yet I still have wanderlust and crave adventures; I want a home, but after nearly 10 years of living out of a suitcase, I struggle with the idea of settling down.I want kids, but as a gay man, I am aware that it will be a huge challenge. I am an artist, yet I’ve grown increasingly accustomed to the comfort of a steady paycheck. And I don’t know what to do. It seems that this gravitational singularity is called “Saturn Return”, though I’m still in that phase where I pretend not to care about astrological theories that, coincidentally, completely describe how I’m feeling now (there is a pun for Charli fans there). So, last weekend, while listening to  Brat and it’s completely different but also still brat , I went straight to the song I think about it all the time , featuring Bon Iver. I had a feeling it would resonate with me even more than the original version. And I was right. In the original song, Charli thinks out loud in a very candid way about the possibility of stopping birth control to start a family with her fiancé, George Daniel, and wonders if pausing her career is the right decision in the grand existential scheme of things. In the remix, the soliloquy goes even deeper. At one point she sings -quite beautifully, I might add- “I found love”, and suddenly, as I was getting on the train to my boyfriend’s house, I was hit with a rush of melancholia about the future: “Wait a minute, I am about to turn 30, I’ve just found someone I think I can spend my life with - so why do I feel this rush to start a family? Am I right in thinking I’m running out of time? Can’t I just enjoy being with him for a while before we think about buying a home together? Do we all feel like this at some point in life? Why am I so scared of running out of time?”. As the train left the station I found myself confronting the reality that growing up means accepting that in life, you can’t have everything. Time flows for all of us quite inexorably, and at some point, we all have to face the fact that gaining something often means giving something else up. Though I’d been internally wrestling with this idea for a while, hearing those beautiful chords on the train somehow felt like the proverbial spoonful of sugar that helps the bitter medicine go down. I suppose I now have to add “life lessons” to my personal “bumpin’ that” list. Brat autumn seems to be in full swing.